Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
