And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
