Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
