How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize