plz talk dirty to me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
