We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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