if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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