What a fucking waste of an outfit
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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