he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
