dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize