Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
