new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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