I like to think it a success when the cops are called
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
