i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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