His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
