Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
