There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
