Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize