Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
