when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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