So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize