Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
nutella sex= disaster
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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