you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
