The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As shirtless as possible
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
