Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
