so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize