just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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