Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I understand Curling. That high.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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