Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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