Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
