And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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