dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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