After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
