you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I believe in your delicious
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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