i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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