Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
