actually, I'm a sock model
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
