it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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