Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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