Dual....:-)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
