it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
