I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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