did you get engaged???
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
