All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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