nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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