my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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