the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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