Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize