I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
