After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
