Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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