How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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