There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
