we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
