just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
