have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
