there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
