I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my poor anus
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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