Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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