There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
