i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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