how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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