didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize