A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize