I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
