No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
