Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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